Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by eMotion on February 6, 2008 at 4:11pm

[As Americans we see marriage fail left and right all the time. However, I see marriage succeed alsmost just as often]

Try to look at it from a hippy's point of view. (-: You should know my definition of marriage is not influenced by law or religion. Being gay, sex has no play either. And the fact that I'm just generally unorthodox, quantity of persons can fluctuate as well (but that gets complicated.) Hehe.

So here it is. It's simple. It is a promise. A pledge to your lover. It's a pledge of any sort. It can be a promise to live, love, and/or experience together. Or perhaps a promise to move to a new part of the world together. Maybe even to reproduce together and start a family. The list is endless. A marriage is togetherness involving a promise.

Who's with me??? Anymore unorthadox definitions???

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Flamekebab on February 7, 2008 at 4:31pm

What better way to express love than through a binding legal contract..?

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gabby on February 28, 2008 at 9:41pm

Okay well I'm still a kid. I know nothing but I have a sligh idea. Marriage is where you become one with your significant other. It is a new level of commitment. A promise to be that persons friend, lover, family, support until death do you part. It's the person you give yourself to. But this seems to be evolving. I see many people get divorces now. It's sad actually. When you marry someone you have to be there for them through thick and thin. You can't back out and take half of everything with you as well. People see it as a contract. And when you break that contract you either win some or loose some. (I'm all over the place. sorry. short attention span.) Now let's talk about sex as well. Call me old fashioned but I think going into a marriage both people should be pure. Meaning virgins :] Gasp* Yes, it can happen. Who knows, atleast in my culture that's one nice asset to have. It's a big role in my religion too.

I remember I was talking to my mom about marriage. I said I wanted an arranged marriage. Why you ask? I was so scared to make a mistake. Divorce was out of the answer for me. I wanted them to choose someone for me. They would know what's best. Afterall I am a stupid kid. But then I decided, maybe some mistakes aren't that bad? If i'm real careful and take things slow maybe I can get it right in the future? Pshhhh who knows :]]

In a nutshell. Marriage is the biggest step anyone can take in their lives. When they become "one" with the other person. When that person become the most important thing to you (besides God[for me atleast]). When you say "Hey, I love you and want to share every second of my life with you. Good or bad let's experience it together."

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Simone on March 1, 2008 at 5:32am

marriage is a prison that people want to escape after ten years! its very rare these days to find someone you are completely 100 percent compatible with and are able to tolerate for eternity! why do you have to spend your life with just one person? that screams insanity to me. being with one person for the rest your life seems really dull. people become bored, we human beings need constant stimulation and when you're with some one alot its easy to get bored and become complacent and harbour stupid expectations. then you have kids and you dont wanna leave because it seems unfair to them. then you're trapped. marriage spells the beginning and the end of a relationship to me.

maybe i am just cynical

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by eMotion on March 1, 2008 at 7:03am

Hmm... two responses both with emphasis on time. Divorce is failure and cancellation to your "contract" but if you make an agreement beforehand that your vow to that person, whatever it may be, will only be for a certain time perhaps that's acceptable. Haha! Here I go being unorthodox again. Say my vow to my husband was to move together away to another country and learn the cultures of a new people. Once we've decided we've met that goal, I think it's fair to reassess the relationship. You guys agree?

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Simone on March 1, 2008 at 9:32am

I don't understand why you have to make that ultimate concrete commitment. I like the idea of making an informal commitment not one where I'm not obligated to stay with that person until death.I think til death is a bit extreme, Maybe I haven't found 'the one'. I think time is an important issue because you only live once and I personally don't want to waste it with just one person when theres sooooo many people to experience and learn from.

i agree with your goal idea. Not making a long term commitment but the idea of reassessing the relationship is also a positive. My parents lost the love they once hard and are only still together because they commited to the vows and had children. I don't want to end up like that.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by eMotion on March 1, 2008 at 4:02pm

You like the idea of making an informal commitment. But, you know what? I like YOU! Bwahahaha!!! It's nice to hear that someone agrees.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Simone on March 2, 2008 at 5:43am

*theres an extra not in the post* work it for yourself :P

your post made me smile!!! it is nice to hear someone agreeing with you. i agree. :P

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by CrazyCheshireCat on March 24, 2008 at 4:22pm

We didn't need to get married, infact I was quite against it for a long time!

Nothing changed for us after we were married, and we don't see it as a contract. It just simplifies legal bs.

Marriage is what you make of it, and i don't think you need to get married to show your love and comitment to one another. It's just something we decided would be best! It was nice to have all our friends and family to partay!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michael Jahn on March 24, 2008 at 6:40pm

I have been married three times. Once when I was 21, with 2 years before I graduated. Far too soon/young. We separated and got together several times. We had three children, on miscarried. This was 10 years - I remarried and that was more like we were great friends, not really in love. I was then single from 1996 to 2006. I recently remarried.

Marriage is about deciding to have a relationship. Until you are ready to follow the 4 Agreements, you are not ready to enter any relationship. This, I found out the hard way, and hurt many people learning this.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Leadpipe on March 25, 2008 at 3:50pm

n. The state of submission toward another person for a long period of time (in theory, the rest of one's life) on the presumption of having sex and the potential for rearing children. Ultimately, the goal is greater fulfillment in one's life by abolishing the self and concerning oneself with the desires of another, then looking enviously at children for not having the same responsibilities.

It can be a partnership between two rational adults, but, then (cynically) why would two rational adults get married?

A note: the Japanese words for "husband" and "prisoner" differ by one beat of a vowel.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by eMotion on March 25, 2008 at 5:43pm

...Flawless. Your thoughts are wicked; I love it!

▶ Reply to This

• 1
• 2