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Paul Dateh

Is it better to yell or remain calm?

[*EDIT*: Reading everyone's comments made me realize that I should put my original question in better context. Here is my revised question, with the original question posted below.]

Here's the scenario:

Someone or something makes you angry. You then go somewhere where no one is around. You're still angry from before. What do you do now?

Is it healthier to yell and let the anger run its course, or remain calm and "meditate" the anger away? I honestly wonder which of the two is more beneficial, so I thought I'd ask the awesome EPIC-FU community.

What do you think is the healthiest way to release your anger when you're alone?

[Original question: When you're really, really angry, is it better to yell and break something, or remain calm and meditate the anger away?]

Tags: anger, stress

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I think that it is generally a good idea to restrain yourself from blowing up in any situation because starting to yell and scream usually lets a discussion get out of control. never a good thing as one would imagine.

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Alone and angry... mmm. Yeah I dont get angry at myself when I'm alone. My anger and frustration is normally projected onto other people.

Okay but for the sake of your question I'm going to answer it. I'm filled with rage and alone. What shall I do? Find something that makes my anger useful. Turn on Rage against the Machine full bore (much to the annoyance of all people within a 5 block radius). I cant sit still to Rage so if I was at home I'd end up cleaning half of my house expending all of that bottled up feeling.

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LOL. Okay, I'll revise the context again to make sure I'm being as clear as I can be:

Someone or something makes you angry. You then go somewhere where no one is around. You're still feeling angry from earlier. What do you do now?

Also, I agree with you that listening to music is a great way to deal with anger. It's a very productive way to release stress.

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My anger comes swiftly and then dissipates just as quickly. When I was younger I didnt know this and I would take the anger home with me and let it sit there stirring quietly until I was festering with it. I'd catch myself muttering whilst in the shower weeks later - still angry and never resolved.

These days I dont let it get to that point (ahem ignoring alcohol fueled moments). If I get angry I remember that letting it take a grip inside me makes me insane and I let it go. Thats it. I consciously decide to not let it affect me. It was a hard task as it meant that I had to let go of a lot of my internal worries.

Just a personal opinion here - I think some of the angriest people I have met have really low self esteem.

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I agree that anger and self esteem are connected in some way, but I wouldn't necessarily agree that feeling angry is a direct result of having low self esteem.

Anger is a completely natural human emotion. I believe It helps us identify what we feel passionate about. Anger is also a natural defense against outside forces that attack you; without anger, you wouldn't have the instinct to stand up for yourself when someone is causing you harm. By that logic, anger can actually help overcome the issue of having low self esteem. The key is using anger in a healthy and productive way.

I remember reading a scientific study somewhere that suggested that people that react to extremely challenging situations with anger live longer and less-stressful lives than those that react with a sense of defeat. Now, I'm not saying that choosing meditation is choosing defeat in any way; I'm just trying to suggest that anger can be beneficial, if not healthy, when used in a productive manner.

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I'd love to read that scientific study.

My Mum will be happy - she explodes if the wind changes direction.

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LOL. Now you're just mocking me. I said using anger in a "productive and healthy manner", remember? ;)

I'm trying to find the study, but I read it a while ago and I don't remember the exact name of the study. If you happen to find it before me, please let me know, because I'd really like to read it again.

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Oh trust me - she thinks its productive (and healthy) :oP

Its her coping mechanism.

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Haha. :P

Also, it's not quite the study I was referring to, but these studies have similar findings:

http://www.livescience.com/health/051103_anger.html
http://www.livescience.com/health/070611_anger_rational.html

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this is all very fascinating.

I read about a study on the power of thought (mind over matter) where a hypnotically implanted improved self-image actually resulted in measurable physiological "improvements" in the subject's body. (increased breast size in women, among other things)

repression can be devastating on the psyche. you can die from lack of self-expression. I know. the consensus is that finding a healthy means of expression is preferable to "taking it out on someone"... but then we wouldn't have hipster fight club. me, I prefer thumb wrestling.

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Well, everyone has their way of releasing anger. I don't think it matters as long as you don't ball that shit up inside. I was reading in a ZOMBIE thread on here about how some ppl have this toxin in them that makes them more likely to go "batshit insane". no kidding, thats a qoute from the other website that i think Zadi linked.

the other day at work i fucking wrecked this stack of PBR 12 packs. i work a hotline in a restaurant and sometimes things just get crazy when we're hella busy and shitty waiters are fucking up tickets and orders. I went out back and punched like 3 cases off a shelf, i had to clean up the mess tho, hahaha.

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i used to kick things, but then i got into sports and i imagine in my head diferent ways to hurt you and it soothes me. it all depends on the time available to cool down. and if you are going to get bothered on the way out.

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